The Adulterers Tale: The Foolish Youth

I apologise for the unprofessional length of time between this post and the last. I decided to take a break from blogging to experience life. So that I could then blog about it. It turns out that all I had to do was talk to my university pals. Sometimes you gaze outside when what you seek can be found in your backyard. This is what happened to me on Sunday.

Sunday was my cousin Shola's confirmation. I was to be his sponsor. It is miraculous that I made it to the confirmation in the first place but that my friends is another story. While enjoying the confirmation spread set out by his mother I received a phone call from a friend.

Friend: Afam I need you.
Afam: Pourquoi?
Friend: You know how you warned me about my disposition towards the married?
Afam: Yes?
Friend: Well the shit just hit the fan.
Afam: I'm lost.
Friend: It's a long story.

Sensing the potential levels of gob smacking faffery here I stole away to the garage where the walls have no ears.

Afam: I've got time.

Friend: Last year, while having drinks at the Hilton to celebrate Tolu's 24th, I met someone.
Afam: Yes! I remember. The well kept lady about twice your age.
Friend: The very one. Anyway we got talking and I felt that we had several things in common so I asked her for her number.
Afam: Yes I remember this. You were awarded several lad points for your success.
Friend: The story didn't end there. If you recall I left early because i was suffering from indigestion.
Afam: Yes, but you didn't miss much. I envied your timely exit at the time.
Friend: Well my indigestion was a fabrication, and I didn't leave alone.
Afam: Legend!!
Friend: Well I thought so too.
Afam: What has changed since then?
Friend: Well today's my dad's birthday and she just walked in with one of my dad's closest friends.
Afam: Sloppy seconds?
Friend: No they've been married for 16 years.
Afam: Shit.
Friend: They've got two children.
Afam: You didn't know?
Friend: Of course not! I had met the husband and the children several times but I'd never met the wife. She was always away.
Afam: Has she acknowledged you?
Friend: No. What do I do?
Afam: What can you do? You must pretend like the day never happened.
Friend: I know but I find the current situation rather interesting. I think it would be hot.
Afam: Yes it would be (at this point my imagination is working over time. This is right up there with the Importance of Being Earnest and Pygmalion) but I would advise against it.
Friend: Why?
Afam: Because he would kill you.
Friend: This is true but starting an affair would be for the best.
Afam: I'm not sure i follow.
Friend: The woman is undoubtedly quite loose. Think of all the me's she's had all over the place. They must add up to hundreds and hundreds. Wouldn't it be better if there was only one? Then there would only be two men in her marriage as opposed to a hundred.
Afam: Good point, but he'd still kill you.
Friend: Only if caught.
Afam: You are without a moral compass.
Friend: You have the right of it.

Is it wrong that though I advised him against it, I will not exercise the powers vested in me by the friend contract and dictate that he never see the woman again? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to witness second hand a once in a lifetime affair. I cannot find it within myself to discourage him seriously. I fear that we shall both go to hell together.

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