Dabi's Party: The Saga of Love part 1

As some of you may know this weekend I stepped out to London town to attend Dabi's 21st. To those of you who know "Dabi" I apologise for my deconstruction of her name. Dabi's party was nteresting for several reasons. I will dissect the party into sagas and each saga shall contain a reason for it's specialness.

The Saga of Love
On twitter I'm married to Lia. Our marriage was spontaneous. On one day last year I was so overcome by her wit that I popped the question. To my surprise she accepted my proposal but I've come to understand that she was suffring from brain touch at the time. Lia and I had an epic marriage until I negelected her. When I returned to the marriage I found several strange bed fellows in it. There was a Mike, an Uncle Yori Yori and several others who I did not (do not) know about. We were divorced shortly after this. You shouldn't feel bad for me because being the legendary trooper that I am I rebounded instantly. I married my cousin on facebook to spite Lia, but it didn't have the desired effect. She was undisturbed. It wasn't until I posted a particularly good picture of myself that my situation improved. She was eager to be whole again, and I was delighted. I should have known better for all the bed fellows that I had left her with came back with her.

At Dabi's party I had the pleasure of meeting Mike. I was distinctly pleased that Mike had ignored the dress code and showed up in clothes that could not be referred to as black tie. Even if the observer had been blind the vulgar pink with which he dressed his breast would have managed to leave an impression. Mike had crashed the party. However I could not fault him for this as this was how I had met Dabi in the first place. Three years before I crashed her 18th party with Dej and I left drunker than any of the legitimate guests. I maintain that I had the most fun as well. Anyway I confronted Mike and I was not surprised to find that he was very unapologetic. I should have known then that he would leave his mark on my night (I blame him for the wine scarcity. His name should be replaced with fish).

My romantic problems did not end with Mike. It turned out that I was seated at the same table with Rabs and Betty. I was friend Zoned by Betty when we were 14 and I had the displeasure of being friend zoned by Rabs when I was 20 (Rabs did not do her friend zoning in a very gentle manner. I was violently imprisoned there without any concern for my well being.) As if this wasn't bad enough, in attendance was the sister of a lass that I pursued a year and a half ago. The courtship was ill fated. My confession of love was greeted with an "oh".

Also in attendance was my first school wife. I can't think of a pseudonym to give her. Our fake relationship ended very peacefully and there were no hard feelings but still I think that this is the danger of remaining within the same circle of friends. After a while it becomes impossible to start afresh as your past relationships will be dragged into your new ones. 

Happy Days,


Anonymous said...

Are these people real?

Afam said...

Yes. I know that you must find it difficult to believe that I have been the victim of unrequited feelings. But I assure you, the creatures in this tale are among us. Tread carefully.

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