Are you not Entertained: Lagos the New Monaco?

The time has come for me to discuss the reshaping of the Lagosian coastline. Yes, this reshaping currently appears to be in the favour of the Afam household for we might soon be in the possession of a water front property. Of course we wish all those disadvantaged by recent events the best and we pledge our prayers to them. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about see the picture below.



You see, that infinitesimally small stretch of beach and that flimsy fence is all that separates one man's backyard from the Atlantic ocean. But even he for the time being is more fortunate than the owner of the vehicle below.
Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. That brand new hyundai has been claimed by the ocean. While it is easy to blame these recent events on any and every metaphysical power that currently exists it is important to note that 12 years ago this stretch of coast line was an area of deposition. It could boast of white sands littered with plastic bags and bottles. Well, that's one thing to be grateful for. The Ocean has taken the rubbish and dumped it elsewhere! Aren't you pleased? To the best of my knowledge the only thing that has changed since 12 years ago is the development of Eko Atlantic, a Venetian Paradise that will be opened in the near or far future. By that time I'm fairly certain that our dear friend in Goshen Estate shall be homeless, but it's a price worth paying. Yes, it's definitely worth the sacrifice because Lagos is the New Monaco (I didn't come up with this, it's in print).
Bintin and I were so startled by the submerged hyundai that we were compelled to film it.

I swore at the end of it, and Bintin giggled for she's the sort of person who'll stare death in the face and laugh.

After this we looked to the ocean for solace and found a road.
The road's supposed to go to Eko Atlantic but it's currently moving in the wrong direction. Eko Atlantic is somewhere to the right. If it continues in this direction I suspect that it will eventually run into Antarctica.

People often ask me how I can live in this country. How I can stay here for months at a time and not pine for Manchester. The answer's simple, Nigeria's really entertaining. With all this going on how could anyone not be entertained? Are you not entertained?

Happy Days,
Afam.

8 comments:

chal said...

Brilliant!

Afam said...

Thunks.

Mez said...

Haha! I enjoyed this!

Forgive my pedantic attention to detail, though, in pointing out that the structure in the last picture isn't a road- it is in fact the Great Wall of Lagos which, on completion, should keep our dear friend in Goshen Estate home-full ;)

http://www.ekoatlantic.com/greatwall/index.htm

As with anything in Nigeria, however, our dear friend should still retire to the nearest Church/Mosque to pray for protection.

Afam said...

Ps. I have just been informed by Mez that the structure I have just called a road, is not actually a road but a wall. I present to you the great wall of Lagos. It is terribly unfortunate that Goshen is on the outside of the wall and shall not reap it's benefits. Even worse is the fact that the disruption of pre-existing marine transport processes is likely to lead to increased erosion down drift from the structure.

You see Papa Afam I was right. That A grade in my Geography A level came in handy somehow. Who'd have thought it?

ayosogunro said...

Really nice, sir. Your one observation of Nigeria is correct: entertaining.

Sagay said...

Interesting read.

Afam said...

Thank you sir, it means a lot coming from you. Why not like us on facebook by clicking the linke button a little to your right.

Happy Days.

Afam said...

I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

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