The Asquith Saga: Manchurian Days, London Nights (Part 1)

My days were pretty dull in the Northern Village that I had chosen to live out my days. I consigned myself to the boring life of an unemployed couch potato. I took out the trash, trimmed the hedges in my dressing gown and took long walks. I lived the life of a mere mortal. but there was something inside me dying to come out. It was the same thing that led me to have the following conversation after a night out to Sankeys in Manchester.

Premise: Eragon and I had made the quest to Sankeys (a very popular nightclub in Manchester), where we out danced and out partied every soul in attendance. The ladies were not very pleased with us outshining them in every aspect of the art that is clubbing so we ended up going home together. This is the beauty of a bromance.

Eragon (to the taxi driver): Drop us off at Sainsburys please.
Afam: ygfulgqwauifhiq34y84yt18
Eragon: What are you on about my dear fellow?
Afam: Bleh
Eragon: Brilliant! Do you remember anything from tonight?
Afam: Have you got my shirt?
Eragon: You don't recall whipping it over your head like a cowboy?
Afam: I don't think I heard you correctly.
Eragon: I think you did.
Afam: I'm not capable of such debauchery.
Eragon: I think you'll find that you're more than capable of such debauchery. I was certainly very entertained by it. Just make sure you apologise to Gina in the morning.
Afam: Certainly... I love you man.
Eragon: I love you too. Now get out of the damn cab.
Afam: I can't!
Eragon: What on earth do you mean by you can't?
Afam: I can't feel my legs.
Eragon: What do you mean you can't feel your legs? Get out of the cab!

As strange as it might sound I really could not move my legs, so with herculean effort I hefted one leg after the other and placed both feet on the ground outside the taxi. I then pushed my self off the seat with the full stock of vigour awarded a man of my station. As you can imagine this was a little more energy than the task demanded. My head sailed over my centre of gravity and I planted my face in the middle of the road. This undoubtedly clumsy manoeuvre had two advantages:
  1. Once I had kissed the floor I found that I had regained control of my legs.
  2. After I jumped up, I was greeted with applause and laughter from the entire street. I bowed very low indeed for applause and laughter are very rare indeed. They must be appreciated regardless of the circumstances.
It was a Grand Adventure!

That thing inside me was hungry for an adventure of the same calibre as the one above.

A good friend knows what you need and stands ready to provide it before you yourself know that you might have needed it. I Afam, being special, am gifted with a fair number of these. That very day, Asquith invited me to his birthday dinner and clubbing night. I didn't want to go, rather I wanted to go but I knew that if I should dare make the trip, my wallet would commit suicide. london has a tendency to do that to wallets. That's the beauty of London, those that live there are well aware of the money sucking tendencies of the city, and those that don't fantasize about the bright lights and huge monuments.

Enter Gbaddy, Nia, Jasmine and Chimba

Jasmine: London's amazing. I can't wait to graduate and get a job there.
Nia: The grass isn't always greener.
Gbaddy: That's a euphemism and a half, London is a hard cold city.
Chimba: Stop hating. I have no complaints about it and I've lived there all my life.
Nia: But that's because your family is loaded.
Jasmine: It really isn't that bad. I don't see what all the fuss is about.
Gbaddy: If you have ten pounds in Exeter you can live for a week, but if you have ten pounds in London, YOU DIE!!!!

He bangs the table and screams

Gbaddy: YOU DIE!!!! 

Somewhere in that exchange lies my point. London is not the ideal place for a perpetually broke student like myself, especially one who has champagne tendencies. So I developed a plan that would see me to London all expenses paid, or all expenses to be paid later...


Happy Days,

Ps. It just occurred to me that some of you might be in need of disguised cameras, I know Mama Afam has been on the look out for some. This one's pretty decent Eyenimal Pet Camera - Complete Set (Google Affiliate Ad)

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