Fun Times with the University of Manchester: The Convergence of Linklaters, Cheltenham College and The Varsity Squad

I must apologize for the reduction in the number of  posts. You must all be suffering from withdrawal symptoms, but you mustn't worry I'm here with the required fix of me, Afam. I'd rather you stayed addicted. 178 page views a day is not a statistic that I appreciate (#justsaying). As you must know by now I have returned for my third year at the University of Manchester (is it at or in? I think it might be both but who cares?). I have only been here for three weeks and I am already monumentally busy. It is impossible to be any more occupied than I am but I am to blame for this. Yes, I am to blame because I have joined all or most of the societies that Manchester has to offer. I am currently a member of the following societies:

The interesting board games society, the Mancunion (this is the student newspaper, I have already written two articles for them), Squash, Trampolining, Dance, (My mating dance has been lacking inspiration. My moves on the dance floor have not been drawing as much (any) desirable attention and as such business has been slow. As a result of this I have gone to the Dance society for some lessons. We seem to stretch an awful lot but I don't mind, flexibility is a thing to be encouraged in all young men.) Swimming, Athletics, Cross Country, Photography, Anime, Creative Writing, Literary, and a thousand more. If I were to mention them all you would grow bored and I can't have that.

Even though I have been busy it seems that the Universe has still provided me several opportunities for fun. Take Monday for example. My bag was laden with books from the library, my eyes were puffy and tired, my shoulders were stooped with stress and my gait was deflated. My step was missing the extra four springs I'm accustomed to. As I trudged between lectures the Universe delivered me a Deus Ex Machina. Like a beam of sunlight passing through the clouds I saw the most divine contraption. It was just by University Place (aka the tin can building, because it is shaped like... yes! you guessed it, a tin can!!) I was helpless to it's allure. I had to ride it, and ride it I did. I rode it until my eyes danced in their sockets.

Can you see my smile? Does that look like the face of a man who has just had a full day of lectures? This is why I love the University of Manchester. I have been to several other universities and I have never once encountered such an exciting contraption. I suppose that I should thank Linklaters for providing such an entertaining piece of machinery.

Linklaters is a global law firm that's currently hiring. If you fancy your chances, then feel free to apply there.

I thought that I would have no more excitement that week, for good things normally come to me in trickles not floods. I was wrong. On Wednesday I stumbled upon something quite shocking.

I wasn't dressed like that for fun. It was the theme of the squash social... Retro Sport. I dare say I fulfilled the parameters set before me. I was very retro indeed.
 Yes, that's the name of my old school plastered across the arse of a first year student who plays water polo. What are the odds?

 At this I was puzzled. I am well versed with the dynamics of fancy dress but why on earth did he have to consign a dead fish to his buttock? Surely this is a violation of the fish's rights. In hind sight he made me feel a little better about my ridiculous apparel, so un-named Cheltonian, I thank thee.

At the same event I witnessed the initiation of the University of Manchenster's Varsity rugby squad.
:) . He was drinking a pint of lager (beer) from his shoe. Most of them had to do this. After downing the pint he slipped his shoe back on and I thought that that was the most cruel part of the challenge. Can you imagine his fowl toes sloshing around in beer? Vile! Or how badly his shoes would reek in the morning? Worse than a homeless man's dog!

After all of that, it is hardly surprising that I broke my phone later that night. I should have known that my entertainment would come at a price. As they say the Universe giveth and the Universe taketh away.

Happy Days,

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