Lessons from Afam: Death to monotony!

I am well aware that I, Afam am not normal. I am also quite aware that those that like me, do not like me because they think that I'm normal, so I am very content in my oddness. For this reason I cannot expect the things I believe to be common sense to be held as common sense by the general public. One of the things that you must know about me is that I cannot be bored. That is the one pleasure I do not allow myself. I have my parents to thank for this. You see, when I was very young their preferred method of punishment was to banish me to my room. At first I would cry and throw tantrums but then I realised that the so called punishment was actually a blessing. One day, while wiping the tears from my eyes I noticed a line of ants marching across the floor. I spent the next couple of hours tracking their movements, and wondering if they could serve as an acceptable snack. Mama Afam was distraught when she discovered that I had thoroughly enjoyed my punishment. I went so far as to demand that she leave me in my room that I might continue my investigations. This is a trait that has never left me. As my levels of exposure and education have increased so have my interests.

Today a friend of mine complained that there isn't a lot to do in Lagos. In his opinion the only things there are to do in Lagos are go clubbing, eat overpriced food, drink over-priced drinks, and see films in the cinema. I do not agree. I cannot agree. The very idea that my range of activities be restricted to four items fills me with dread. I think I'd rather be dead. No, that's false. I'm sure I'd come up with ways to do them so differently that the monotony of them didn't drive me insane. 

It is necessary to note that while my friend detests clubbing, I quite enjoy it. 

How else can I explain this?

or that?

It isn't really about going clubbing to get girls, and while that does happen occasionally, it isn't the raison d'etre of my night time perambulations. 

Also, I must say that while my friend thinks himself bad at socialising, I am rather good at it. I never quite feel comfortable with people that I do not know, but I slap a big smile on my face and project. I answer the questions I'm asked and I ask questions that indicate a similar amount of concern. I keep my hands crossed in front of my crotch like a school boy to stop me fidgeting. At the very worst, I'll be boring, decent, polite, maybe even preppy and at best I'll be charming. If I have been drinking then I cannot tell you what they'll think of me but chances are I won't care too much. 

Even without clubbing, eating overpriced food, drinking overpriced drinks and seeing films. There's still so much to do in Lagos. This is a list of things I plan to do when I go back in the summer.
  • Wakeboard and tube if I can.
  • Learn to drive the Speedboat
If the Afam household Speedboat is still out of commission then it is a little sad that I won't be able to do these things.

  • Join the yacht club. (I do quite enjoy sailing. It isn't as romantic as you might think, but it is enjoyable, athletic, strenuous and strangely relaxing. )
  • Go to the National Museum.
  • Go to the Lagos Cathedral and study it. (Take a few pictures. Marvel at the architecture. It is the prettiest building in Lagos.)
  • Tour West Africa. (There's no reason not to make it as far as Benin Republic. It is practically in Badagry)
  • Play squash with the daddies at Ikoyi club. 
  • Play tennis, and get tennis lessons.
  • Continue piano lessons.
  • Go go-karting.
  • Swim.
  • Drive everywhere. 
  • Play with Captain Reginald.
  • Go to White Man's market.
  • Go to art galleries.
  • Get job with old employer.
  • Turn every unprecedented excursion into an adventure.
  • See the first Storey building in Nigeria (It's been a while since I saw it last.)
  • Go to Whispering Palms in Badagry. (It's run by Professor Deji Femi-Pearse. The man is a national treasure and a living legend.)
  • Go to the creative writing place Mena told you about. It's supposed to be fairly Bohemian.
  • Read the following books, (Great Expectations, The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, Americanah, The Life of Pi, The Three Musketeers, War and Peace, Essays by George Orwell, Crime and Punishment, Lolita, and Warm Bodies)
  • See a few movies.
  • Keep up with tv shows.
  • Maybe learn to play golf.
  • Maybe learn to ride a horse.
  • Blog

Will I do all these thing? Who knows? But at the very least I'll know that eating over priced food, drinking over priced drinks, seeing films and clubbing aren't my only options. 

Happy Days,

1 comment:

mizchif said...

I'll be sure to look out for you as i make my way upstairs to the gym in the squash section.

I guess there's a bunch of things one could do in Lagos is one is really determined and willing to put in the extra effort and of course has the means.
Personally i just go to work, do the over- priced drinks while waiting out traffic, the occassional Friday night in the club, then save up my energy for the week ahead by sleeping through the weekend. Lagos traffic is my major deterent.

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