Hi. I'm back in Lagos now. Over the next week, I'll tell the lot of you about my Edo, Paramilitary camp experience. By now you should all know where Edo State is. It's in Nigeria, and Nigeria, is quite literally the arm pit of Africa. However, you mustn't hate us for it because the arm pit is quite an important part of the body.
I'm sorry. This is a little bit weird for me... It's been three weeks since I touched my laptop, and the keys feel weird beneath my longer than normal finger nails and I'm not happy with you. It's really only one of you, but that one famzer has soured my great come back (very unhappy, gross misconduct, inappropriate behaviour) . I was supposed to rejoice and weep and rejoice and weep and scream and shout and get stupidly drunk and not dance but now I'm sitting at my blogging table fuming. While I was away, I danced far too much. If I bust a move this week, I might die. I'm not joking. The Afam booty popping party is over, and it's just as well because with the way things were going chances are that I would have pulled a Lady Gaga. You know what I mean don't you? Well, a few months ago she was wheel chair bound because of synovitis, that's when your joints get really inflamed. I'm not wishing myself ill here, but my body was built for raving in dark places and closed off spaces, not theatrical displays of dizzying heights of energetic gyrating. I can't tell you when I'll komole (shake my butt all the way down to the floor) again, but it certainly won't be this month. I'm going to pass the rest of November sleeping, and eating, and begging Captain Reginald to forgive me for my long absence.
If you do not like my content, do yourself a favour and close the page. It's not that hard. There's no gossip on here. This isn't the site where you read rumours about yourself or look at pictures of people doing extravagantly stupid things. If I invite a guest blogger to blog for me respect him or her. It isn't that hard. I won't let any one of you kill a fledgling for your entertainment. I will not invite anyone to blog for me because of you. It's really for my jollyment. My first guest blogger, Ola, wasn't updating his blog enough so I had him write on mine to make sure that he wouldn't blog every other other week. So Ola, when you thought you were using me, I was really using you. He made my paramilitary camp stay a little less painful, and his review of that Justin Beiber song was legendary. I couldn't have done that. Or if I had done it, it wouldn't have been as good. If Ola would like it, his bread reviews can stay.
Anyway, there are great things to come. Thanks for sticking with me while I was away. The numbers are still good, but I'll try to get them higher before the month is up.
This is Ola's blog: http://olaisblogging.wordpress.com/
Also, I'll be sharing my stuff more aggressively now. It's just that when you believe in your stuff, you share it, and I don't think I've been doing that enough. Later doods.