Eventing: The DO.II Corporate Launch

Are you surprised that I was invited? I mean, come on! I'm Afam there was no way I wasn't going to be invited. Yes, I am that important. Those of you who haven't been here before are probably confused. Don't be. I've got illusions of grandeur. I think it's healthy, but then again I'm not the best judge of mental wellness. I just think that you should be your own biggest fan in public. Yes! Declare that you're the shit, the bees knees, the disco groove, the hottest tamale, or the tequila burn in public, and shit on yourself in private. While public meltdowns are currently on trend, they aren't a trend that we at the ramblings of a madman would advise. They're too Justin Beiber, and not enough ________. Fill in the blank space with your role model. If Justin Beiber is your role model then skizzurp out of here please. This blog is not for you.

Yes where was I? It is only natural that I was invited to such an event. You see, I'm a little bit of an event whore. If you send me an invitation, and there's petrol in my tank, it is likely that I will attend with my big daddy DSLR in tow. Oh! what what? You don't like this? You don't approve of my event whoring ways? Well there are a few reasons why I do it. And they're pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

  1. In my line of work, chances are that you'll meet someone kind of brilliant and amazing and minted (loaded) that will be instrumental in the earning of your first million. And I need that first million yesterday. I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable with making demands of Papa and Mama Afam and they're growing tired of me. I don't blame them to be honest. I'm a lot to deal with, and I need things. 
  2. Also, these things make for more than decent blog content. You can never have too much content. As my brain has refused to churn out an interview that I'm happy with for quite some time, you'll be reading about this event and that event for quite some time. Don't fret! I don't cover events the way anyone else does. Don't doubt me. You'll find out soon enough.
  3. As an economist, I find it unconscionable that I should pay for my own drinks when there parties with more champagne than water. Scroll up and look at the invitation again. Did you see Moet et Chandon there? Oh yeah? You did? Do you know the last time I drank champagne? The last time we checked I was making my way through a bottle of Bacchus. It's dire in the best way possible. It tastes like struggles and that's nice sometimes. And Bacchus has got all sorts of vitamins that most other wines do not. Vitamin A, B6, B12, C, D, E and some other ones that I can't remember. 
  4. Content. I've got tonnes of things to write about, but you can't ever have too much I don't think. 
That was a digression and a half. Let's get on with the show shall we. You're probably wondering what the what DO.II is. It's a company that's run by Mrs Ifeyinwa Ighodalo.

This is her. How pretty is she? There is one thing I've always said about her, that I've never said to her face. Her husband, Mr. Asue Ighodalo, must have some crazy, crazy, crazy, infinitely incredible, earth shaking game. I'm not going to say how old she is, but she's certainly not in her twenties, and she's still this stunning. Her genes are astonishing. But the point is, how many moneyed Babas must the good Mr. Asue have defeated to win her? He is great. Should he ever write a book about the running of babes, I shall buy it, and sell it on the blog. I swear it.  
They focus on furniture manufacturing, interior design, space planning, and remodelling for the high end residential, corporate, property development, and hospitality markets. Mrs. Ighodalo's got 25 years worth of experience in the industry, and DOII won the Best Residential Designer award in 2012 at the premier edition of the Interior Design Excellence Awards (IDEA).

During the event, I strolled around and made a note of things that I like

This Brass Frog makes me smile a little. It's just such a happy frog. It reminds me of when Naruto's learning sage mode. Naruto's a manga in Shounen jump that I quite like. I used to watch the anime but I outgrew it and even if I didn't the internets in Nigeria isn't too good. Naruto's one of the shows that I had to ditch for practical reasons. 

I want that little man. I can't say what I'd do with him, but whatever it is, he'd look awesome doing it. Notice the plant beside him. How awesome is that? It's subtle, but brilliant. It just goes to show that when you're thinking about decorating, you shouldn't do the big things and forget about the little ones. Just like you don't get a braces to correct your dentition and allow yourself to have gingivitis... When you're buying that really brilliant sofa, you need something on the table, so that your sofa doesn't look lonely. All of this is my opinion but I'm sure there's a measure of truth in it.  

I love his hat. I have a thing for straw hats. I got it from my grandma. I like the wooden circles as well. They're cool. 

I think I have a thing for miniature people. I love everything in this picture. It's giving me fulani priestess sisters in an oasis praying to a crystal pillar. This is the stuff of fashion films you know? Omar Gardens provided all the potted plants. They did a banging job. They always do a banging job. I know because they did Papa Afam's garden and it's totes amaze balls. 
And speaking of fashion, the party featured a collaboration with Tiffany Amber. Models dressed in Tiffany Amber draped themselves on pieces of furniture and stood in corners. It was a little bit like being in a living museum or haunted mansion at times, but even that was okay because I got to see Uju, the model of the year. I've got a little bit of a crush on Uju you see. I like to think of myself as the president of her fan club. 

That's an epic Tiffany Amber dress. It can be worn with a bra, and it's flattering yet comfortable. Well, it looks like it's comfortable. 

She's exquisite is she not? I'm fairly pleased that I, Afam, the fantastic, the handsome, the awkward, managed to get 6 sides of her. The mirror's for sale by the way. Maybe it's a magic mirror...  

That painting is insanely good. I like how it looks like pencil or charcoal work, and maybe it is. I didn't touch it. I need to go back there. The art in the store is stunning and it's all for sale.

It was a successful collaboration. Sometimes, you need someone to occupy a space so that you know what it'll be like to be in it. They gave the pieces they interacted with life.   

This is a picture of Demilade Roberts taking a picture. I'm sorry, I have a gift for stating the obvious. Demilade's a nice guy with a good camera. He's certainly very capable. I was having a pretty good time, feeling the hell out of myself until he showed up with his Roberts football Jersey and his bald, gorimappah, molo, head. When he was taking his pictures with his canon 6D, I peeked at his display screen and what I saw depressed me. If I were a mere mortal I would quit my line of work and go and sulk in a corner somewhere, but I'm not a mere mortal. I'm Afam. I am legend. I will defeat him, then I will go to his house and cackle at him from the gate. This is why you must never tell me where you live. I have no boundaries. When you say make yourself at home, I take it literally. My feet + your couch = great times. 
Now to the part that some of you have been waiting for... who the who went there and the what the what they wore. I didn't get a lot of pictures for reasons I'll tell you about later, but we'll make do with what we've got for now won't we. 
I know I say this a lot but this lady's got it. The hat, epic! The dress, stunning. The shoes, brilliant. The jewellery, fabulous. I mean, she isn't declaring that she's stylish. She doesn't need to. She's really quite lovely, and she didn't pay any attention to me, which was nice too. It's nice when someone completely ignores you when you're taking  photograph of them. There's no awkwardness about it. There's no hasty attempt to smile. There's no Oh My God! what if it was a bad picture. This tells me that this woman has the confidence of a demi god and it's refreshing.   

Can you see Mama Afam giving me a cheeky smile there? I'm not going to tell you which one of them Mama Afam is. You should know instinctively. Actually it isn't a cheeky smile, it's more of a don't fuck this up smile which is also good. How happy they all look. 

And this is Olisa, from the Beat 99.9 fm. What you don't know about me and Olisa, is that Olisa is very very very special to me. Back when I was 11, and he was a decade and a bit younger, he exploded my world. I'll tell you all about it. I'd just had a gruelling common entrance session and I was quite upset. Mama Afam had seen my grades and she'd spent the majority of the drive home informing me that with those grades I'd be better suited for pepper hawking. She'd done this all the way from Gbagada to Allen Avenue in Rush Hour traffic. By the time we were on Allen we were both upset. Our chakras were positively blue. That was when this man came on the radio and cracked the following joke, "Err ma gerrrd, it's hot enough to make a baboon's bottom red." It killed us. It was just so, so, so, bad. It was so bad it was awesome. 

And here we have Folake Coker and my auntie Nkiru Anumudu. She isn't actually my auntie but you know what I mean. She's so great I'm nephewing her up. Folake's the woman behind Tiffany Amber, and she made the clothes the models were wearing. I particularly liked Uju's dress. Anyone that makes Uju look good is my friend. Let's talk about Auntie Nkiru now. I cannot handle it. The bag and the shirt! Brilliant! She's just such an interesting person and she's got a brilliant sense of humour. I love it. I'm not being snarky or saucy, or snarky. I love everything she's ever worn. She dresses for herself, and only herself, and that's a lovely thing.  

Mr Asue Ighodalo and Alhaji Dangote. Do you know that I call Dangote the Dangy? Come on! His greatness deserves a nickname. 

Now, Papa Afam is in that picture. Can you imagine how I felt when I saw my father watching me as I was going about doing my job? I almost died! If Papa Afam ever reads this blog, I am finished. Finished! The snide comments I'll receive from him will kill me. I swear it. I'll be the walking laughter punch bag. Yes, let's have another joke at Afam's expense. It'll be great in the I know you're picking on me because you love me way. But I'd be happier if dad never saw me on the job again. When I saw him I went to hide in the toilet. But I fear it's too late last night Papa Afam asked me if my blogging had brought me an internet girlfriend. :-(.  

Yes, Yes. Maxi dress. That's what that is isn't it? They never manage to look bad, so this lady made a good choice I reckon. 

And that's Mrs. Ighodalo with a presenter from Studio 53. I didn't hear what they were saying but he's obviously kissing her bum. You can tell from the facial expression. He looks so slick, so oily, like Rhett Butler on the day that subtlety died. 

:-). How cute... 

lololololol. She serving cake! Birthday cake!!! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Eat da cake Anna Mae! Bear with me. I couldn't resist. That's a lovely skirt she's wearing though. Shiny!  

Here, you've got Auntie Nkiru and Mrs Bola Balogun having a moment. I really must improve my photography skills. I hate missing moments like these. I know I got it, but I didn't get it the way I wanted. I will get better I swear it. 

Have you noticed the plants? They're everywhere. Scroll up and have a look. They were all done by Omar Gardens, who was represented by this man. He's a poser. If you need anything that's green, then google Omar Gardens, their greening the world one client at a time. This is why you should all hire them. They're saving the planet! 

This is everyone at DO.II. I'm getting a little bit emotional here... Such a huge achievement. Such a lovely store. Such beautiful people. I'm so moved. Someone grab me some Rose tissue paper. Buy NIGERIAN TISSUE PAPER. STOP SUPPORTING ANDREX AND BOUNTY.  

The PR for the event was done by Ijeoma, who's a double sided coin. She's all lovely and personable when you meet her but then she becomes a tiger when you're interfering with her work. I think she's brilliant at it but I've only known her for a week and a bit. #candid 

I have no words for how great this is or how stunning I think the woman on the right is. I've already talked about Ifeyinwa Ighodalo (Auntie Ify... I should stop nephewing everyone up you know? ) so I shan't anymore. Compliments are a tricky affair. If you're too enthused you do more harm than good. But let's talk about woman on the right now. Is she wearing make up? If she is she isn't wearing much, but she's glowing. Her skin is fresh, her eyes are clear, and she's being tolerant of my paparazzi ways. She looks like she drinks at least 5 bottles of water a day. And oh yeah! That bag, it's Channel (Allow me to be bush please. It's a Chanel bag, but you know that if you ask me about it, I'll pronounce it as CHANNEL, not Shanel, because I like to crack myself up like that). Would you have guessed it? See the way she hasn't pushed it out? That's what you need to do. Don't be vulgar about the nice things you've got, because they don't mean shit. You're going to die, and when you do, you won't take them with you.


The event was deejayed by Bisola. He's a magnificent DJ. He had me almost dancing, which means that if the crowd was younger, and if my parents weren't there I'd have been Spastic on that dance floor. 

It's obvious that I had the best time isn't it? And that's all thanks to these three, who planned the corporate launch. 

Happy Days, 


Anonymous said...

Afam, post a rant. My life is boring.

Anonymous said...

''It can be worn with a bra, and it's flattering yet comfortable. Well, it looks like it's comfortable.'' errrrm... with or without?
Love the dresses and the paintings!!

Tweeny Tee

Augustina Adenuga said...

Afam, i would say this is still the best version of the event i have seen covered by press oo. Your camera and descriptions were so on point. It can be worn with a bra, yep lol.
Someone looks so much like dad and seems to have inherited mother's smile...hehe
Least i forget thanks for voting for" Creative minds" as best documentary on MtnAfrinolly short movie competition.

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