I'm happy I suppose, but I'm only happy because I do not want to type the words, "I'm sad". If I were to type the words, "I'm sad", I would immediately be sad, because at the moment I'm running on fumes. There is no gas in this tank. And yesterday Caderouse, the basterd, tried to convince me that bolognese was still bolognese if minced meat was substituted with corned beef. How? My dear friends, foes, flat out enemies, friend enemies, hoes, brohoes, and bromos, is this not suffering? All of this is why I want to kill something whenever I hear that song by Pharrel. You know the one don't you? It's the only song on his new album, Girls, that I've listened to. When there's a fuel scarcity and you car consumes £40 in petrol per week and petrol only costs 35 pence per litre you know not to buy albums just for the heck of it. I will only buy it when I have listened to it online for free, and decided that it is good enough for me, who doesn't have any money, to give Pharrel, who has a lot of money (I think) and his record company (who also has a lot of money, but still has salaries to pay, so you must buy the album if you're going to download it. Think of all the people that'll be laid off if you torrent it! I bet you don't feel so smug now).
It's the "Happy" song, where he and a couple of happy idiots dance around like absolute plonkers because they're happy. Can you smell my jealousy from where you are? Some of you are probably thinking things like, "shame on you Afam, don't you know that jealousy is the solace of the mediocre?" And then you're thinking, "if you're so green, why don't you go and make your own happy video?" The answer to that is I'm tired.
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