Ey Yo! Yo! Yo! I can't! I just can't! I'm serious!! I actually can't! Lemme catch my breath! Err Ma Gerrrd. You guys ain't gonna beleeeeee dis. Lawd, be a fire and soothe me. I said soothe me Lawd. Lawd. Lawd. Lawd. Lawd. You see, I skipped worked today, and I was chilling shilling eating some peppered chicken that I stole from Papa Afam when the funniest shit popped up on the youtube.
Before I share the video lemme give you the low down on the two women pop black music industry or whatever that shit actually is or somethin'. At the top of things is Rih-Rih. She's the baddest bitch who ever lived. She's a ho, but she's the sexiest ho you'll ever see. When Miley tweaked her barely there behind, Rih-Rih said, "That Miley, she just finished reading twerkin for dummies." Yeah! I swear! Then she showed Miley how to really get it on in her pour it up video. And you can tell that she's still possessed with the tweak, because in that video she did with Shakira, when Shakira was wining like a belly dancer, Rih-Rih was just twerkin' her ass away.
Somewhere next to Rih-Rih is Beyonce. She's like Rih-Rih's sexy mama. It's funny how the two of them haven't done a duet together. I mean, they should have done one by now, am I right? Am I right? I know I'm right. You don't have to tell me. Now Beyonce been in tha industry for as long as Rih-Rih's been alive. I swear to the Lawd. Anyways, the fact that they haven't collaborated on anything, leads me to think that there's some prime, rear, bloody, fillet mignon between tha too of them. But of course, they're not going to throw down anytime soon because B is a classy but ratchet king. And you Bey-hivers shouldn't come for me. She so ghetto.
I'm not going to talk about anyone else because they all need help.
Ciara needs a come back from her come back.
Nicki Minaj needs a new schtick.
Janet Jackson belongs in a museum.
Lil Kim's biggest achievement this decade is getting knocked up.
Christina Milian never happened. She was on Dancing with the Stars late last year and you ain't even know it.
Kelly Rowland aired her dirty laundry and no one cared.
Michelle... poor Michelle.
Okay. Here's tha video.
That video is the tribute to destiny's chail. It starts out with some movie announcer cat reading out their long list of achievements, and glossing over the line up change, and immediately after that comes tha tribute act. Now listen, and listen good. They got some chick called Tia Marie to be Beyonce, Rih-Rih to be Kelly and Amerie to be Michelle. They performed Lose my breath, very, very, badly. Home girl Rih, was throwing some serious shade with her woodenness and general lack of energy. We all know that she was mad because they didn't let her be Beyonce.
I was pretty pleased that Michelle was in the centre for the first time in a really long time, and that she was serenaded by Usher. I don't even know who the other guy is.
I'm sorry famzers.
I was inspired.
I am creative.
I will super get away with this.
GRIMACE! I found the best YOUTUBE video: On Black women in Pop, and Rihanna, and Destiny's Child.
GRIMACE! I found the best YOUTUBE video: On Black women in Pop, and Rihanna, and Destiny's Child. Reviewed by Afam on 11:21:00 Rating: 5