Gung ho!! That's a personal joke. You know I'm fairly crappy at beginnings don't you. I don't know why but everything needs an intro. And every intro must be perfect. I'm no longer allowed to edit myself before I'm done. This is hard. I write and edit simultaneously. I did it just there. I was goingto write simultanaeusly, but I corrected it as I typed it. I didn't even know I was correcting myself. Life is strange. Humanity is strange. There's so much we all do without realising that we're doing it. Take driving for instance. Gear 1, Gear 2, Gear 3, Gear 4, sometimes drunk, sometimes half asleep, and sometimes while reading novels that are momentarily more important than the road I'm meant to be focusing on. I'm trying to be honest here. Sometimes, you'll see me in traffic, and I'll be reading Eragon on my phone.
Anyway, tonight, thanks to the efforts of Channels television, I was almost forced to part with the contents of my stomach. Normally, I wouldn't mind. I have the eating habits of a plant, or a self harmer. Food is sort of kind of disgusting. I mean, it's a reminder of how weak we all are. If we're so evolved, then why is it that we have to eat? I hate that I have to succumb to hunger. When I'm hungry I'm a senseless beast. I will eat anything, and I mean anything. If we get trapped on a desert island, I'll probably have no qualms cutting you up and eating you raw. You'll taste like pork.
Where was I? I almost threw up on Papa Afam thanks to Channels television. If you've won the best Nigerian Station in Nigeria award eight times in a row, then you should know that just before you display bloodied human road kill, you announce that you're about to display bloodied human road kill so that those of us that aren't especially keen on looking at blood, and guts, and gore, just before we turn in for the night can change the channel. It's just like going to bed to find that your bed has turned into a chainsaw. I might have been alright with it if you hadn't followed that with a video that showed gruesome Kill Bill worthy injuries that a 15 year old girl sustained during a rape. Please have mercy. For Christ's sake have mercy. I understand that life is shitty so the news is shitty, but there's no reason why you shouldn't tell us when you're about to show something particularly shitty.