Hello good people. I saw something with a similar format on the interwebs and I thought it'd be a splendid idea if I did something like it. This one's fairly simple. I take a wellness or enjoyment activity and write about it in an objectively subjective way. I prepared this draft specifically for you.
Without further ado, I give you, Is the Juice worth the squeeze? Swimming...
What that? An activity where you launch yourself into some water, thrash around with varying degrees of success and crawl out again.
What's the damage? It varies. It could be free if you fancy a dip in the Atlantic (I don't advise this. There may be no crawling out of that one), a trollop in the lagoon (you may run into a few fish, and there's a small chance that you'll smell like a toilet after). It could be a few hundred naira, but I'll warn you. If it looks like it belongs in a laboratory, then it probably belongs in a laboratory. And if you're a hundred-millionaire it could be in the back of your house.
Possible results? A whole load. It's one of the best activities for full body toning, and it's a chance for you to display your truly bodacious body without looking like a pervert. Your speedos will never look sexier than when you're lounging by a pool that's blue.
What doing it really feels like? I'm a recreational swimmer. While I was at university I was chosen as the Male recreational swimmer of the year (yes this is a thing. I couldn't go to the awards ceremony because I'd eaten some Indian the night before and all I'll say is that pepper is always easier in than out), but all of this is a far cry from today. A length of the butterfly has me speed dialing the family physician and screaming, "Dr Kudaya send me an ambulance because I don't think I'm going to make it." 4 lengths of the twenty metre pool are enough to finish me. And then there's the feeling of absolute bedazzlement and wonderment when a truly obese person both outdistances you and outpaces you. Swimming taught me an incredibly important lesson: Someone's size is not a true reflection of how fit they are.
Highs and lows: The swimming pool on a scorching day will both cool you down and offer you a sense of relaxation that few other workouts will. A swimming pool that has children in it will have you considering neutering yourself.
Is the juice worth the squeeze? Absolutely.
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