Restaurant Review: BLD by Play

If BLD by Play, Lekki, were a man, you would stick a tyre over his head and burn him. If those actions were too reprehensible for your impossibly Christian sensibilities, you would still grudgingly recommend that he be put in front of a firing squad and shot, preferably to death. If you were less gung-ho about matters of justice and sought to know the reasons that drove the criminal  to sin, you would insist that he be permanently interred in an insane asylum. The BLD Lekki man is the sort of man that bathes in his shit and wonders why he stinks. He’s the sort of guy that shoots a man point blank in the head, and wonders why he’s dead.

I was driving down admiralty way in Lekki Phase 1 when I saw it first. It looked good but I wasn’t sure if its goodness was as a result of its architectural splendour, or its newness. I was most captivated by the open bar on the first floor because of a certain love I bear for open spaces. I continued driving down that road as the weeks passed always keeping a special eye out for the place. It was always empty.

I am wary of places that stay empty even at peak time. My father once said to me, “Afam, the quickest way to die of food poisoning and or terrible cuisine is to eat or drink in the restaurant that’s empty when it should be busy. If people avoid it, then there’s probably a good reason why.” I should have taken its profound emptiness as a sign but I didn’t. My curiosity got the better of me.

I showed up there at 9pm on a Wednesday night. I planned to enjoy the roofless bar, with a beer in hand but my plans were thwarted at the door because the bouncer insisted that there was a private party going on there. I was confused because private parties in bars - as I understand them - do not have guest lists of two. I briefly considered that the statement might be true, because if it were true, it would mean that BLD Lekki was a place that allowed private sex parties in full view of the public, and then the bouncer would have been saving me from harm to my soul. I am not such a degenerate as to participate in private sex parties of any kind especially those that are in clear view of both the main road and my mother’s office.

I thought about it a little bit more as I walked back to my car - Mufasa. I didn’t know whether or not I should be disappointed because of my dismissal from the place. I had an epiphany then. I realised that BLD Lekki is simply a very very bad place to do anything. Even though I did not taste their Chicken Wings or their prawn popcorn I knew that their rottenness could not only be limited to their service for gangrene always spreads.

If you would like to know about how their food actually tastes then read this review by Eat.Drink.Lagos

2 comments:

Adetutu Zainab said...

Awww! I was there once and i liked the place but then the customer service is terrible.

www.zeezeeszone.blogspot.com

silvertoju said...

I was there yesterday and the treatment by the bouncers was degrading.I guess it's one of the reasons the place is always empty as you stated. Yeah..the place is quite nice...restaurant had good food and cheap buffet. I checked it out with a friend who took me there.He's been telling me about this nice rooftop lounge in Lekki. So I decided t o check it out.We got there by 10pm and I decided to go upstairs and check it out before having dinner.The bouncer at the gate refused to let us in saying it's filled up and the only space left were already reserved. We were surprised because it's still early for a typical Lagos night for any lounge to be packed full at the time.Anyway, we decided to go straight to the restaurant and have dinner. While we were eating we saw people going up several times and some people were also leaving too.After the meal,me and my friend decided to go up thinking by then there would be space.The bouncers still insisted that the place was full we can't go upstairs. It was shocking because right there in front of us people were leaving and people were going upstairs. So I didn't really understand why he kept insisting that the place was packed full and we can't go upstairs. I was properly dressed in a knee length skirt and long sleeve lace top and my friend who's white was properly dressed.He was also surprised since he said he's been going there regularly at least once in a week and even earlier and later than 10pm a he's never had any issues.I told the bouncer that that was my first time..but since the place was full we are not going to stay but I just want to take look in a minute and will would leave immediately. But he still refused.It was really annoying and embarrassing but I believe the bouncer was just lying and really don't understand his reason for not letting him in.My friend is familiar with the manager and I asked him to go back there another time to report the issue with him because th bouncer's attitude was degrading.I am also personally going to see the manager whenever I have the chance because the incident left a soured taste in my mouth and spoilt my mood last night.The place is still too new for the bouncers to start giving selective treatments to customers.We were there to spend our money so they should treat people appropriately.

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