Zikoko isn't profound or anything like that, but everything that they put up is worth at least a chuckle.
The Nigeria expression I'm crazy about at the moment is borropose. It's a marriage of borrow and pose, and it happens when you lend something to a friend and he or she rocks it like it's theirs. Say you've worked your arse off for a Land Rover Discovery 4, and a friend of yours borrows it for a night. In the morning, you wake up to an instagram feed filled with pictures of your friend sitting on the roof with a bottle of Champagne and captions like God is good and #blessed. The nerve!
As silly as I think the practice is I am not above it. Last week, I sent my only jacket to the dry cleaners. I had worn it for about six months, and it smelled like a homeless person. It was a necessary move because I have never known eau de homeless to do anything good for anyone, but it meant that I had nothing that could cope with the icy nights head.
I went to my neighbour for assistance. A few weeks before, I'd seen him in this thick too cool for school number. It was the sort of jacket that I'd look at with longing but never buy. When I buy clothes, I think of the future. If I can't see myself wearing it in five years, then I turn my eyes from it and get something else. This coat was one of those, perfect for 25 but useless for 28.
When I put it on it was like a spirit descended upon me. I felt bolder, younger and wiser. I didn't need anyone to tell me that I looked cool, I knew it in my heart of hearts. It wouldn't have mattered very much if I actually looked like an idiot because I was immune.
Typically before I get dressed I ask myself WWED. That is what would Erkel do. When you're black and you're short and you wear glasses and your idea of a good afternoon is one spent in Waterstones, you don't have many style icons to choose from. No matter what you wear the Erkel will shine through.
And that's how I went to the cool kids capital. Strutting like a deranged Ostrich, and starting dance battles I couldn't finish. When the night was over, I returned the jacket. Spirit animals shouldn't be so casually displayed. They lack home training.