You watched their life from the distance. Tracked their relationships and their friends, all in preparation for your grand return. All the people in between were jokes. They'd be blown out of the water the moment you appeared outside her window, with a juke box of the first mix-tape, or CD you cut in their honour.
But, because people very rarely put their lives on suspension for your sake, it is likely that they won't be the one you end up with. You'll be like me, standing with a video camera and head phones in your ears at comic con, while "the one" walks down the aisle.
This is how you will feel.
I have no words for this.
"What just happened? I don't understand. I can't! I just can't!
"Oh my God! This isn't happening! This can't be happening. It's a joke the universe is playing on me."
Must stop wedding. Must stop wedding!
Your holiness, Objection!
I have a knife.
If you'd thought it'd be that easy to steal my bae, think again.
I'm going to be single forever. There's no one else for me out there.
Life, why did you have to be so cruel?
Damn you all! But damn me most of all!
I wish the both of you the best.
It's time to resume the daily struggle that is singledom.
So fear not fellow Troam-by-Afam reader, you're not alone. After you've been through this once, there's really no need to go through it again. If there is a one that's got away from you still enjoying the single life, you should consider making some moves.