If you're looking to get numerically done in this weekend, Lagos' hottest spot is three hundred and fifty-five. That's a three, a five and an extra five.
Inspired by the collective mind fart of New York's Time's Square and a negative budget, this lounge is managed by a bespectacled prison warden who specialised in potions at Hogwarts before being expelled for dabbling in the dark arts.
Their wahalarita is so toxic that it'll have you, on the brink of disaster without knowing for certain if you're a mouse or a nymphomaniac mouse with a penchant for Malborough Reds.
This place has everything: green fairies, no fewer than 20 commenters from bellanaija.com and that fat mainland guy that no one invited.
So come on over! This weekend, they're having a tournament game of Wiz - Ojuelegba or Tekno - Pana.
The bouncer is the ram that you didn't kill this Eid and the password is Big Cassava.