If you’re a fan of the obese franchise, Fast and Furious there’s only one place for your nightly meanderings and Hennessy parkings in Lagos, and that’s Nitro. Club owner, Otunba Red Light has built a neon paradise from nothing but radioactive strobe lights, manly musk and the discarded pieces of the always coming back to life villain of the Transformer cartoons and films, Megatron.
This place has everything: exchange students from the premium strip club university down the road, Silver Fox, pyromaniac lighter fiends, small chops, Rihanna’s birthday cake and the answer to the question is that the pussy that Donald Trump grabbed? The answer is usually no. The last time I went there it was a cockfest; which is what happens when all the cocks fest for anyone who doesn’t have a cock. The number is typically more than one but no greater than six.
With all of this going on it is quite possibly the best club in Lagos. DJ Looking Hungry and Hype Man, Snap-Ma-Pisho form a musical partnership so strong that it renders all who go there near epileptic… but then again that could be the lack of a warning that exposure to flashing lights at the Nitro intensity can trigger seizures.
So come on down this weekend. The experience of paying for a long island iced tea that’s actually a vodka cranberry will blow your mind.