One of the best and worst things about Lagos, is that it's so small that it's almost impossible to go a year without seeing anyone be they friends, enemies, or the the unfortunate people that lurk somewhere in the middle. The last time I saw Adeolu Adefarasin, the new guy on the hugely successful Skinny Girl in Transit (60,000 youtube views per episode on average) was at Starmix' 25th. He was largely the same way, he was when I met him. The only difference was that he'd added.
When Nigerians say you've added it almost always means that you've gained weight, and while it's true that the dear chap has now got something that's closer to dad bod than lad bod, he's added much more than that. For one, he's not a student anymore, and for two, he's done a good job of racking up some professional experience.
Back in the day and by back in the day I mean a little over a year ago, I watched this show called Skinny Girl in Transit. At first I thought I liked it. It was hilarious. It seemed like one of the most realistic depictions of adulting in the Nigerian media space. Our parents are almost uniformly insane and bipolar, and it's surprising that more people aren't turning it to comedic gold. Skinny Girl in Transit does this very well, but after five episodes of the same old stuff, I was tired. When you see the gag coming from a kilometre away you can't laugh when it arrives. The show I liked slowly but surely became the show that wasn't worth watching.
All of that changed the moment Adeolu said, "Oh! I'm in the new season of Skinny Girl in Transit." I don't know about you, but I like to support my acquaintances and friends. If you're in something, I'll give it a blog. If not that you'll get a retweet, and failing that I'll give you a shout out. Creative people in Lagos work too hard to go unacknowledged. The moment he said it my intestines re-arranged themselves. They said, "We the suffer-head intestines of Afam who only knows how to eat rubbish declare that from this day till Adeolu Adefarasin is not in Skinny Girl in Transit, this body will watch the show." I attempted to rebel, but they stopped me dead. I didn't shit for three days. To understand what this means to me I'll have to tell you a little bit about my family.
My father, the dearest, the most troublesome, Papa Afam lives his life guided by a solitary principle. He believes that a man who does not shit once a day is unwell, and a man who does not shit for three days is on his death bed. He doesn't care about vomit or fevers or diarrhea but the moment you inform him that you're experiencing system back log prepare for a week in the hospital.
Lesson learned, I watched it the first episode of season 3 and the stuff flowed from me like a fountain.
When Adeolu told me that he'd be in the third season of Skinny Girl in Transit, he asked me what he thought, and I told him. I said, "The plot is a disaster. It moves as slowly as a Range Rover sport pushed by a singular area boy. The jokes are overwrought. The acting is painful. Quite frankly there's nothing about the show that isn't stressful." During my moment of brutal honesty, I didn't realise that he had his co-star with him, and she wasn't pleased with my criticism. The co-star was Sharon Oja and she was defensive. If you're a fan of the show, you'll know that she plays the sister of the main character on Skinny Girl in Transit.
She said something like you're unqualified to criticise the show since you haven't watched the show's second season. Adeolu agreed, and I did too. But there was another bit of me that thought, "This conversation is pointless because Skinny Girl in Transit isn't my jam. I'm never going to like it and I'm never going to follow it religiously. Deal with it." And that's when my bowels stepped in.
So in order to appease my bowels and keep Papa Afam from confining me to a hospital bed, I'll be recapping every episode of the third season of Skinny Girl in Transit, with my buddies, the troam team, who aren't me. I swear they aren't. For the most part, the troam team is Avenger 2 picking up my slack. This is what happens when your friends are literally God-sent.