Troamteam: Who's that?
Afam: It's a god dog alien man called Pretty Mike. His real name is Michael Nwalie and he owns a night club.
Avenger: Where's this night club?
Afam: The Premium Times says it's Club Uno which was once called Q Club on Allen Avenue (It's a street/district in Lagos).
Avenger: Is this what they do there? You know? Girls on leashes and horse tail whips.
Afam: I assume so. Why else would anyone turn up to a wedding with girls on leashes? It's only excusable if the club is kink oriented and maybe not even then.
Troamteam: Is this something we should be writing about? I know it's being talked about everywhere else but is there anything new that we can add to the discussion? And even if there is, should we be part of the viral machine? He clearly wants some sort of infamy for this and we are giving it to him.
Afam: You have a point, but here's the thing. We can't not talk about it. I'd rather have it on here where we'll have a proper discussion about it, than somewhere else where they'll just put it up and say it's wrong. It isn't enough to say that it's wrong, we have to say why.
Avenger: It's clearly odd, but I'm struggling to see why it's wrong. If they're all consenting adults then I don't think wrong is the right word to describe it. It's strange and it's inappropriate but I'm not sure that it's wrong.
Troamteam: It's wrong because having this out there in the light of day says that it's alright for a man to put a woman on a leash, and it's not. Impressionable people will see that and think that it's normal, and it isn't.
Avenger: But that's the point. That it doesn't seem right doesn't mean that it's wrong. I can't tell anyone how they should live. It isn't my problem and it certainly isn't my business.
Afam: I think it's wrong because it's misogynistic. It isn't news that women the world over are treated unfairly because they're women. This is one of the most explicit representations of that fact I have ever seen. It sends the message that it's alright, and because women are already relatively disadvantaged, it isn't harmless fun.
Avenger: Would you be as offended if it was a woman holding a man on a leash?
Troamteam: No, but that's a crazy argument. Men have always been protected by society. Forgive the cliche but male privilege is a thing that exists. Over the holidays my 3 year old niece saw me washing the dishes and said, "Uncle why are you doing the woman's work?" I had to sit and tell her that who washes the dishes isn't gender specific. She's only three but she already believes that one of the many duties she has to shoulder as she gets older is dish washing. The image of a woman being confined to a leash is infinitely more harmful than the opposite because it makes a bad situation worse!
Afam: I think it's tricky because both of those things aren't great but I think @Troamteam has a point and I'll explain. If you had a son and he called you stupid is it more harmful or less harmful if you are the one that says it to him?
Avenger: They're both wrong.
Afam: But you cannot deny that it causes more harm when you say it than when your son says it. It's the same thing with cracker and nigger. I call a white person a cracker and it's just another rude thing that people say, but when a white person calls me a nigger it isn't. By calling me that he hasn't just insulted me because I annoyed him. He's called on my history as a black person (colonisation and slavery) and he's called whatever idea I have of that to the fore. And it's painful because, and I really hate to say this, we're still not free of white supremacy. So the two are not the same.
Avenger: Fair enough. I can see that, but what of the sexual connotations behind it. What if it turns them on.
Troamteam: If that's the case, then they should do it where it's legal to have sex, and that isn't at a wedding in full view of the public. If it's because they're getting some sort of kink out of it then at the very least it's public indecency.
Avenger: Chances are that he's doing it for the publicity, if he is I think there's some merit to it. When have any of you done something so outrageous so that you could be successful?
Afam: That's a fair point too. And I haven't done anything so crazy that it'd blow up the internet and earn me publicity. However, I'm glad that I don't think I have to. I think I'm better than that. I genuinely believe that there should be another way to get popular than having to put two girls on a leash and parade them around a wedding the same way I might do my dogs. It's such a disrespectful thing to do and now I'm not even referencing the fact that they're female. It is disrespectful to their humanity.
Avenger: But what if they got paid for it.
Troamteam: I hope that they did and handsomely too. I'm really bothered by it, and maybe that's why we should talk about it. Anything that bothers me this much has to be a topic of national conversation.
Afam: @MamaAfam what do you make of this?
MamaAfam: My problem is that I'm looking at it from a woman's angle. How do I see myself to allow someone put a leash around me and walk me like a dog? To allow a man to lead me around like a dog... How do those women see themselves? Do they not understand the message they're sending out about womanhood? Do they not understand that they're degrading the essence of womanhood? Because they were not forced! If they were forced I would understand. And for society at large the guy should be stoned. And he was fine with people taking pictures? When it's not a carnival! It is not a float. And let's not even bring up the liberal argument. In England could you go to a wedding and put two women on a leash. I don't understand it. Ko ye mi ra ra (I am confused). Are we sure that those girls are mentally okay?
Avenger: That's an important question to ask because in as much as I don't think you can tell three adults what to do when it's not expressly illegal, it is vile. And you have to think of the mental or emotional state of a woman that let a man do this to her.
Troamteam: Is it me, or is this looking a bit like prostitution?
Afam: It's not just you, and you're not the only one that's deeply bothered. I keep holding my head and literally asking myself if this is what it means to have free will because I'm not sure that everyone should.
Avenger: I'm going to ask you guys a question and you must answer honestly. Do you or do you not want to go to his club now?
Troamteam: I don't want any part of me to ever be associated with anything that guy stands for so the answer's no. I will not dance to the music there, and I certainly won't pay for a drink there. I will not enable him in any way.
Afam: I would go to see what it was like. I feel like it's better to know what's out there than it is to not know. So no matter how vile it was I'd go and see it. If I met him on the street I'd want to ask him about it too. There has to be more going on than I was just marketing my club so I decided to put a collar on two women and lead them around in daylight. If there isn't he's clearly insane.
Avenger: The funniest thing would be what he would do if he has daughters. His past would quite literally scar them.
Troamteam: That would be terrible. It wouldn't be funny at all! He should not have children at all. If he has daughters and they see that picture then it'll be all but impossible to remove that image from their minds. And if he has sons they'll go around thinking that they can put women on leashes.
Afam: So he shouldn't have children?
Avenger: No. Probably not, but he will anyway, because anyone that does what that guy did, thinks it's acceptable behaviour.
Afam: I don't know that I can do this anymore. I am quite literally exhausted. Let's leave this out there for the readers of the blog. I think we've said everything that we think about it, but I don't know that it's enough. I'd like to know what the readers have to say about this. So Afamzers/famzers/beloved readers, please tell us what you make of this fiend and his actions.
Afam End Note:
This conversation literally happened on the shared google document that was meant to be a recap of episode three of Skinny Girl in Transit. Like I said, Afamzers/famzers/beloved readers, please tell us what you make of this fiend and his actions.