The Plight of Don Quixote: Protect and Defend!!


I was dressed smartly as usual, a white shirt, burgundy trousers, a black Uniqlo blazer with silver shiny buttons and Church’s shoes. It is necessary that one dresses his or her form in a pleasing manner. If you lack the good sense and taste to do so then you must recruit friends and force them to aid you in this endeavor. That’s why we have friends. They do for us things that we cannot do ourselves.

I was rather sour for I was over an hour and thirty minutes late to Won-Won’s 21st and graduation dinner and I had forgotten to adorn my waist with a belt. If it has belt holes, then there should be a belt. However this rule only applies when suspenders are not involved. I strode into the venue with one purpose, to protect and defend.

Yes this is the amalgamation of two distinct celebrations. It was the pinnacle of "jollification". My enjoyment of it would have been unparalleled had Sir Heartsbane, Sir BFG and Sir Jafar not chosen to bid for Won-won’s hand.

Won-won, my dear friend, is the stuff of legend. She is Persephone, for if some dark Lord kidnapped her for her charms, there would surely be an abundance of young fools willing to travel to the dark realm to steal her from him. When she is in possession of her full array of forces, she is capable of plunging any man within range into pure delirium and thirst. Yes, just like cinnamon.

She is Helen, if she were ever stolen away by some young fool his household would be battered by powers so large that he would curse the very day that he laid eyes on her.

Because of her affliction, she is well guarded. Rapunzel had a tower, but Won-won comes with a mother-ship capable of going nuclear, and a father-ship capable of inter-galactic travel and planetary destruction. She is also served by me. When I’m on duty I take on the manner of Don Quixote de La Mancha.

If any Vagrant wishes to stake a claim on my dear friend whose charms exceed that of a goddess, whose beauty and wit are widely told of in this land and the next. Let him be warned that I am ready to take on all charlatans and vile creatures. Should I fail, I am certain that you’ll wish that you had met your demise at my hand for the mother-ship and father-ship are formidable indeed.

You have been warned.

Happy Days,


Gaf said...

Enjoyed this piece bro. Keep it up

Afam said...

Sir Jafaar, if you would like your own washing then share. Thanks though. Much appreciated. xx

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